tell your sister to shave her snatch
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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