your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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