Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
