So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
