dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
