I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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