Kiss
Puke
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
