I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
