So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
