Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
