i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
