yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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