Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
