Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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