Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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