wanna go halves on a baby?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
