i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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