Dual....:-)
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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