I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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