Kiss
Puke
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
false alarm, still single
Randomize
