is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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