Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
