69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
