I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
