So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
