is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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