so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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