She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
