You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
