I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
They have beer where we have blood.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
