3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
