i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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