I'm drive I can fine osifer
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
