Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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