Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
