He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
