Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
