you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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