I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You may now shotgun with the bride
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
