he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
