wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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