btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
