Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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