i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
