he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this just has baby written all over it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
