I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
