belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
