tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Verdict: uncircumcised.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
