Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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