you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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