OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
