Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
