i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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