ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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